It has taken me awhile to gather the strength to write this blog. When I read my last addition, I didn't really know how to start the next one. "I am back" it is the title of my last entry. But nobody knew that this was only the beginning of a much more difficult period.

To be honest, I don't want to go too deeply into the subject, but it is not possible to not talk about it at all. It will have an effect on who I am for the rest of my life and it will definitely have a big influence on my fight career. Following this entry, I will rather refocus on my sports on this website.

To update: I thought my Glandular fever was gone when I wrote my last blog in February 2014. When the intensity and the number of trainings increased, I soon found out that the virus was not totally gone. It threw me for a loop and I had to take it easy again.

But this is not the full story. My website bio still tells the story of my boyfriend Jonathan Ornella who was training me to eventually become an MMA fighter. We built beautiful dreams together, especially when it came to martial arts. Unfortunately, during this period he started to suffer from depression. This was something I couldn't recognize at the time because I had never experienced something like that. His depression led us to break up in October 2014. At this point neither of us knew how bad he was suffering, and on November 20th, 2014, he committed suicide. My world collapsed. Even today my mind cannot comprehend what happened. I wish I could have him back, but unfortunately this isn’t possible. Nonetheless, he will always be on my mind and I will carry him in my heart forever.

Meanwhile, I’ve slowly picked up the pieces of my life. My desire to fight in the ring again has only grown. In the middle of August I will fight in Bangkok at the Royal World Cup of the International Federation of Muay Thai Amateur. I will talk more about this in my next blog entry. My next fights will be devoted to him. I hope he will send me his power and will look after me from up there. From this point on my goal is to realize the dreams we once had together.